Beep Beep – Beep Beep

Every day that an alarm clock rings, you loose two days of your life.  Today – and one lopped off the end of your lifespan.

Stage 1 – The Terror.  Duration: c4 sec

Skin prickles from head to toe.  Heartbeat races.  In an instant you know you are under attack and you are caught between two worlds.  Simultaneously awake and still asleep.  It’s a primal feeling as your sleep and dreams are ripped asunder by the sudden realisation of the presence of the great predator.  Immediate instinct is to fight.  To commit some atrocity in self-defence on the horror that is assailing you.

Stage 2 – Denial.  Duration: c5-20 sec

No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no repeat ad lib

Stage 3 – Despair.  Duration: c20-30 sec

Heartbeat continues to race.  The prickles on the skin die down a bit, to be replaced by a leaden, gnawing pain in the pit of the stomach.  Reality begins to kick in, but you still cant face opening your eyes.

Stage 4 – Helplessness.  Duration: c10-60 sec

You know that you are loosing something vitally important here.  Its the feeling that a snail must feel, when it is wrenched out of its perfectly fitting shell, essential for life and health, and left dangling in a cold, hard world.  Basically – you loose that shell, you’ve had it.

Stage 5 – Nefariousness born of desperation.  Duration: c20-60 sec

Perhaps if you told them (later) that you were ill.  Perhaps if you told them (later) that your computer had exploded.  Perhaps if you told them (later) that a family member was dying.  Perhaps if you told them (later) that a magnitude 8.9 earthquake had struck on a previously undetected faultline and your entire town was now rubble filled with 22,000 dead . . . . then maybe they would let you SLEEP for a few seconds more.

Stage 6 – leaden resignation.  Duration: c5 min – 1 day

In the end, one is powerless.  There is no meaning in life.  No one can fight the forces that control you.  Not now – not till the day you die.  This is when you open your eyes.  The heartbeat finally begins to slow down.  Perhaps you turn over in bed.  Tears prick, but they always prove empty.

Stage 7 – The clock.  Duration: n/a

Not much.  You just gaze at the clock and read the time it is displaying.  And you realise that everything that the theologians, philosophers, scientists, politicians, cartoonists etc have ever said, is wrong.

Stage 8 – Intimations of mortality.  c1-5 days

That feeling that your own death is creeping towards you as fast as you are stumbling and blinking blearily towards it.

Published in: on August 6, 2010 at 11:59 am  Leave a Comment  

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